I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
