i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
