its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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