he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
