haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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