In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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