dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
