I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
