dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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