ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
