Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
