You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
