I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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