Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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