He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
