My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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