Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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