The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
