come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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