Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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