I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
