I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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