Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
