remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
