i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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