Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My ATM looks so different sober.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
