Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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