So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize