Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
being pregnant is like rehab
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
