i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
