After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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