mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
