so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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