Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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