What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
