apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
