out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
