just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
