He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
