am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
