I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This show inspires me to have sex in space
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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