Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
