She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
