so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
