The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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