He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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