I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
