Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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(540): View more from Virginia

he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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(440): View more from Ohio

I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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(209): View more from California

I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.

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(509): View more from Washington

Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS

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(404): View more from Georgia

She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.

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