I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Everclear isn't food dammit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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