She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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